Thursday, March 10, 2011

Scales of JUSTICE!

"Do you want me to pick up a scale at (huge retail shopping chain) while I'm out?"

Even a year ago those words uttered by my wife would have started the marital equivalent of The Rumble in the Jungle. 

I tried deflecting...  "Uh, last time I checked (10 years ago) they didn't make scales that went high enough." 

She didn't buy it.  "I'm pretty sure they do now." 

So now we have it.  A shiny new Biggest Loser Scale.

I found myself thinking about the numbers on that scale yesterday during lunch.  I ate too much and spent the entire afternoon walking quickly around my office.  

The scale has brought my weightloss out of the vague and into the very specific. 

The thing I avoided all these years is actually an asset. 

I weighed on the scale for the first time Tuesday.  This is Thursday and it says I'm six pounds lighter.

And now, pardon me while I do a jig.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

A Legalist's Least Favorite Game

Let me share something ludicrous. 
                                 Playing the Game.  #3. 
                                 The judge turns over each red apple card, reads it aloud,
                                 and then selects the one he or she thinks is best described
                                 by the word on the green apple card.

The subjectivity woven into Apples to Apples drives me CRAZY.

The word is "Dirty."  I have a card in my hand that says, "The dump."  What's dirtier than THE DUMP?

"Jamaica"

obviously. 

Wait!  JAMAICA?!?! 

I need rules.  I need scores.  I need neat, orderly ways for me to prove I'm better than you at this game.

At the end of a round of Apples to Apples my blood pressure is up, my face is red and I'm angry at the others in the room.

Hello, I'm Jay and I'm a Boardgame Legalist.

And if I'm going to be honest, I'm just a good ol' fashioned Legalist. 

I don't smoke, I love spending time with my children (who sleep all night and obey 95% of what I say), I open doors for others and usually let a car turn into my lane in traffic.

I want the scoreboard to reflect my superiority.
We want the scoreboard to reflect our superiority.

You pass the terrible driver in front of you and graciously wave and bless them.
You're sitting in front of the woman talking on her phone as the movie starts and wish her well.
The server brings your meal and it's wrong... again and you leave a 20% tip.

Of course not!  We call the judgemental A-hole an A-hole.
We stare down the bad driver, shoosh the movie-talker and jip the server.

And all the while, we tally our score.

But keeping score is stressful.  It takes up time, wastes energy and saps our strength. 

Then I read the words of Jesus, "On hearing this, Jesus said, 'It's not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means:  'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'"

I can run faster than my pregnant wife and I boast... but in the grand scheme of things I'm racing against a highly trained Chinese hurdler.

My good isn't much when compared to God's Good.  I forget that. 

We forget that.  Right?

We put so much pressure on ourselves trying to win, trying to earn, trying to find worth in our accomplishments.

And yet we have a God who longs to bestow His accomplishment on us. 
A God that desires to give us rest and remind us that his work is sufficient.

I'm slowly learning to depend on Jesus' work on the cross instead of my own work.  I'm trying to remember that the first guy Jesus took to paradise was a convicted felon who repented right before he died.

I'm asking Jesus to tear down my scoreboard. 

I'm asking him to remind me of his grace when I'm trying to apply the rules. 

But I still can't stand Apples to Apples.