Sleeping Baby in T-Minus Six Weeks

My third child is two weeks old.  I think God puts selective amnesia in parents so that we forget the first few weeks of a new baby's life.  It's the only reason every child isn't an only child.  The fatigue, frustration and fussiness work together to make you feel sub-human.

As Chloe's due date approached, several people asked if we were ready for the sleepless nights.  Each time, I responded, "NO! But I can handle anything for two months."

You see, in six weeks, my daughter will be sleeping through the night.  

Pretty bold prediction, right?  

It started six years ago.  We were at our son's two month checkup.  We were exhausted.  Our pediatrician  told us that he should be sleeping through the night.  We asked about him needing night feedings.  He assured us that he didn't and then reminded us that we're the parents and, as such, get to make the rules.

Two nights later, our son was sleeping all night.  Four years later, our daughter did the same.

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Authority in the family flows from God, through the father, mother and to the children.  Our sleeping values come from Proverbs 22:6 and Ephesians 6:1-4. (... I guess all of our parenting values come from there!) 

I'm not a big believer in the "your child will tell you when he/she's ready to ______" philosophy.  My children would be drinking chocolate milk at every turn if they got to make the rules.  

Rebellion starts early and, until Jesus saves our children, must be met with an unwavering will.

Sleeping is one area in which we exercise our authority as parents.  Our children know that when it's bedtime, we sleep... in our own beds... until the clock says six oh oh.  

We're six years in and so often parenting has boiled down to a battle of the wills.  At this stage, our highest calling seems to involve lasting five seconds longer than our children.  And that battle goes smoother if we're well rested!  

If you're a new parent or a not-so-new parent with unsleeping kids, I would love to talk more about this.  It's one of our favorite parenting subjects.  

Also, check back with me on October 3, 2011.  (I don't know if we'll be starting on 9/23 or 9/30).  This could be your chance to Nelson me.  

There is hope for us, we sufferers of sleep deprivation.  There's hope.  

"Immediately the father of the child cried out, 'I believe!  Help my unbelief!'" - Mark 9:24.  (That applies here to some/most, right?)

*Disclaimer:  You should probably check with your Pediatrician about this stuff.  But I would ask, "Is there any reason he/she shouldn't be sleeping all night?" as opposed to "My goofy friend says..."*

Denying Myself is Fun ... damentally hard!!

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me..."  -Jesus of Nazareth


"Perhaps in our affluent society fasting involves a far larger sacrifice than the giving of money."
 - Richard Foster, Celebration Of Discipline, p66


"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" - Homer Simpson




The thought kept coming back to me last week, "Fasting and prayer."  "Fasting and prayer."  
I thought it might be my body revolting after some jalepenos & onion straws.


But it kept coming back to me.  "I need to deny myself."  


One does not reach 350 pounds by being disciplined.  He does so by letting his stomach have whatever it wants.  


If I follow Jesus and he says that my body is a "temple of the Holy Spirit," I should treat it as such. But I don't view my form of gluttony as being very sinful.  Just like you don't view your form of (insert sin here) as being very sinful.  


We scorn the smoker who is damaging her body and chained in addiction.  We banish them to the far reaches of the property while I finish off my fifth donut and you replace the coffee iv that gets you through the day.


It's so easy to judge the speck in your eye while totally missing the log in my own.  


So my goal over the next month is to deny myself some things that I want.  (An exciting experiment, I know!)  I do so in the hopes that I would grow more dependent on Jesus and knowing that it is far easier said than done.


I'm thinking that a little bit of fasting is all it takes to lose 8 or 10 pant sizes.   Right?


Right?  


Anyone?   

Change I Actually Believe in

I spent Fathers Day with my family peering over the edge of a cliff at the Garden of the Gods.  That's not so revolutionary until I remember three years ago I only wanted two presents:  Peace and Quiet!  Instead, I was excited to haul my two year old around the rocks chasing my 6 year old!

It seems that I don't notice changes in my attitude/character until something crazy happens, like preferring to hike with a pregnant wife and two children rather than watch tv all day.

I was thinking how oblivious we can be, sometimes, to our own needs for maturity and growth.  How many people enjoy examining themselves searching for character flaws?   

So it wasn't a good idea to be reading a section of 1 Corinthians 11 that night.  I got stuck on the phrase, "Let a person examine himself..."  

Now I'm getting better at how I respond when a trusted friend calls me on something.  But "Examine himself"? That's coming MUCH slower.  But it's coming.  

And I wonder, how can I help my children be better at this than I am?  

My goal as a dad has become to face and deal with my junk so my kids don't have to...  They'll have enough of their own!  So how do I instill in them the habit of checking their blind spots?  

I had a chance already this week.  We were eating dinner and I thought I heard my son kicking his chair.  I said, "stop" and took a bite.  The kicking continued.  I said it a little louder, "STOP."  ...

The kicking CONTINUED.  

Finally I put my hand on my son's arm, shook it a little and said, "Son, you HAVE to listen to Dad when I'm talking to you."  

And my wife says, "He's not doing that.  Your daughter is."  

I HATE BEING WRONG!

Couple that with the fact that I LOVE being right and I faced a dilemma.  

I could have shrugged it off and kept eating.  I could have transferred the speech to the beautiful girl kicking her high chair.

Instead, I grabbed my son's hand and apologized.  

I was wrong and had to admit it.  I was wrong and chose not to make excuses.

Hopefully that becomes a habit with me.

But even more importantly, I hope I'm building that as a foundation in the lives of my children.  

That, and laughing at the sound of bodily functions, of course!  

Scales of JUSTICE!

"Do you want me to pick up a scale at (huge retail shopping chain) while I'm out?"

Even a year ago those words uttered by my wife would have started the marital equivalent of The Rumble in the Jungle. 

I tried deflecting...  "Uh, last time I checked (10 years ago) they didn't make scales that went high enough." 

She didn't buy it.  "I'm pretty sure they do now." 

So now we have it.  A shiny new Biggest Loser Scale.

I found myself thinking about the numbers on that scale yesterday during lunch.  I ate too much and spent the entire afternoon walking quickly around my office.  

The scale has brought my weightloss out of the vague and into the very specific. 

The thing I avoided all these years is actually an asset. 

I weighed on the scale for the first time Tuesday.  This is Thursday and it says I'm six pounds lighter.

And now, pardon me while I do a jig.

A Legalist's Least Favorite Game

Let me share something ludicrous. 
                                 Playing the Game.  #3. 
                                 The judge turns over each red apple card, reads it aloud,
                                 and then selects the one he or she thinks is best described
                                 by the word on the green apple card.

The subjectivity woven into Apples to Apples drives me CRAZY.

The word is "Dirty."  I have a card in my hand that says, "The dump."  What's dirtier than THE DUMP?

"Jamaica"

obviously. 

Wait!  JAMAICA?!?! 

I need rules.  I need scores.  I need neat, orderly ways for me to prove I'm better than you at this game.

At the end of a round of Apples to Apples my blood pressure is up, my face is red and I'm angry at the others in the room.

Hello, I'm Jay and I'm a Boardgame Legalist.

And if I'm going to be honest, I'm just a good ol' fashioned Legalist. 

I don't smoke, I love spending time with my children (who sleep all night and obey 95% of what I say), I open doors for others and usually let a car turn into my lane in traffic.

I want the scoreboard to reflect my superiority.
We want the scoreboard to reflect our superiority.

You pass the terrible driver in front of you and graciously wave and bless them.
You're sitting in front of the woman talking on her phone as the movie starts and wish her well.
The server brings your meal and it's wrong... again and you leave a 20% tip.

Of course not!  We call the judgemental A-hole an A-hole.
We stare down the bad driver, shoosh the movie-talker and jip the server.

And all the while, we tally our score.

But keeping score is stressful.  It takes up time, wastes energy and saps our strength. 

Then I read the words of Jesus, "On hearing this, Jesus said, 'It's not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means:  'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.'"

I can run faster than my pregnant wife and I boast... but in the grand scheme of things I'm racing against a highly trained Chinese hurdler.

My good isn't much when compared to God's Good.  I forget that. 

We forget that.  Right?

We put so much pressure on ourselves trying to win, trying to earn, trying to find worth in our accomplishments.

And yet we have a God who longs to bestow His accomplishment on us. 
A God that desires to give us rest and remind us that his work is sufficient.

I'm slowly learning to depend on Jesus' work on the cross instead of my own work.  I'm trying to remember that the first guy Jesus took to paradise was a convicted felon who repented right before he died.

I'm asking Jesus to tear down my scoreboard. 

I'm asking him to remind me of his grace when I'm trying to apply the rules. 

But I still can't stand Apples to Apples.